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Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms
Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world move on the Grindr app to observe for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most queer men – the possibilities have drawn-out been simply superior and bottom. The only other preference available toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).
“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to come across someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to choose from.”
“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d think, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something false with me.”
Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who detect fulfillment in every kind of sexual act except anal penetration. Instead, a broad range of oral, manual and frictional body techniques provide
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14 posts and no-one has a clue? For shame...<br><br>Anyway, Doomlord to the rescue!<br><br>ROL, roofle etc are parodies (or possibly horrendous typos) of ROTFLMAO - a classic internet acronym meaning 'rolling on the floor laughing my ass off'.<br><br>ROL is an clear contraction. Well, I think it's clear anyway... Similarly, LOL means '***** *** ****' (no, I'm not telling you what that means, you can estimate if you don't know, context and all that -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif -- ) which gets parodied as 'lollers' or LOLOLOL etc. Also in the matching vein is 'OMFGs!!!!!11!11oneone' or 'WTF??????////slashslash'.<br><br>Well, isn't the internet a wonderful place?! Extended live Standard English (with a boisterous boo to Xaiax coz I understand he'll have a go at me for this -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif -- )<br><br>D_L -- View image here: http://episteme.arstechnica.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif --
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to portray a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the Gay community, but also for increasing understanding and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Entity a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Safety During Gay Sex
As a governance, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the notion of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes feeling roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the top in a gay sexual relationship is the partner performing the penetration. This may comprise the use